


Healing Wounds

by gabriella0807



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, F/M, Family, Friendship, Happy Ending, Healing, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loss, Love, Minor Finn/Rose Tico, Musicians, On Hiatus, Pandemic - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tragedy, lockdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:42:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25939876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriella0807/pseuds/gabriella0807
Summary: During the covid pandemic, right before the lockdown, Rey moves to a town and soon she meets a mysterious man.Later it turns out that there are wounds deep down only they can heal in each other. Together.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	1. The Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt to write...  
> ...something M rated 👀  
> ...a modern au 👀  
> ...a slowburn reylo fic 👀  
> ...something angsty 👀
> 
> And i don't know if i will succeed, but this idea was on my mind for months, until i decided to write it now. Hope you'll like it. 💗🙏

Rey felt like the luckiest person in the world, for she had managed to move to Chandrila town, right before the lockdown.  
She didn't have many belongings, so her upright piano had enough place in her small, cosy apartment on the third floor.  
The neighbourhood had beautiful parks and mainly three or four storey buildings. Rey had planned to move there for so long, because he had have enough of Coruscant city and its many expanses. 

She was a third year music student majoring the piano, at the Central University of Coruscant, and her graduation was gonna be in a year. When tha last month of winter had passed, she had decided not to stay there any longer. While her two best friends, Finn and Rose, -her classmates, had started their newly married life in the city centre.

It was the end of March, when she got used to the online classes, and her new home, so it was time to find a part-time job, to complement her scholarship.

"Good afternoon, Miss Kanata." Rey greeted the old woman at the counter, when she went in her favourite grocery store in the beginning of april.

"Good afternoon, my dear." Maz said amiably. The owner of the shop was small, with pinned up white hair, and kind, blue eyes were looking from behind her round glasses. She was wearing a flower patterned facemask. "Haven't I told you to call me Maz?" She added, her wrinkles under her narrowing eyes indicated her smile.

"You have." Rey confirmed embarrasedly and walked to the vegetable-fruit section. "I just forgot it, sorry."

"No problem, Rey." Maz waved a hand understandingly. "We've just met a few times. It's okay if you still have to get used to it."

Rey nodded and grinned behind her white, cotton facemask. She was so grateful for Maz, who always treated her like a good friend, or almost like a daughter, from the very beginning. The girl collected some vegetables and fruits while she was humming a melody. And then walked to the baked goods. The shop wasn't small and wasn't even large, but there was enough space for a few rows of shelves.

When she was passing by one of these rows to take some bottled beverage, she spotted the top of someone's head. It was black, and it belonged to a very tall person. They both headed in the same direction, when they reached the end of the row and suddenly bumped into each other.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Rey apologized immediately with embarrassement. She took a step back fast, to observe the mountain standing in front of her. He was a well-built, massive man with broad shoulders. Everything he was wearing was black, his sweater, his scarf that covered his neck, even his facemask. Shoulder-lenght, ravenblack hair framed his long face. 

Only his eyes were brown, locked to Reys. His piercing gaze was something Rey couldn't figure out, could only get lost in. The man didn't say anything, and they were staring at each other as if time had stopped. The man came to his senses first, and walked away, like nothing had happened. He disappeared in an other row, and Rey looked after him. Who was this mysterious man? What had just happened? The girl asked herself. She didn't know why she was so surprised, but forced herself to break out of her thoughts. She went to the counter to pay.

"Maz...do I have an opportunity to work here somehow?" The sudden idea came to Rey's mind, while she prepared the cash.

The woman replied after a moment of thinking. "Yes, Rey. But I can only employ you in part-time shifts."

"It's perfect!" Rey reacted with gladness. While she was putting away the purchased items, she winced, when she noticed that a black figure not far from her was watching her from the corner of his eye. He quickly took his eyes off of her, and was lifting off some packed product from an upper shelf. It was Him. Rey's heart was beating so fast, and felt like heat was flowing through her whole being. After paying, she stole a last glance towards the man, who now seemed like ignoring her, and she left the place confusedly.

When Rey got home, she threw herself into her bed. She wasn't creeped out at all, it was something else. She could see something in those inquiring eyes. Maybe longing. And the man was familiar to her from somewhere. The girl reminded herself that she even saw a short line above his right eyebrow. It must have been a scar from his childhood -she made the mental note. If only she could see his face...Suddenly, she slapped her cheeks with her hands to collect herself. She had to practice, and after that, prepare her dinner.  
However, she didn't know, that she would not be able to concentrate on her tasks.


	2. Thank You

During April, the days had passed lazily. Rey had have enough of online classes and online chats. She even felt burnt out as for practicing the piano. As an extrovert, all she wanted was a real talk in person. She badly missed her classmates, professors and traveling. She spent too much time between the four walls at home and at her workplace. Except the working hours she was alone. When she was taking a walk, she was by herself too. She now regretted moving, and didn't feel like the luckiest person anymore.

"I miss you so much, Rose." Rey whined, seeing Rose's face on her cellphone's screen, during their Messenger video call.  
"Feels like I'm going crazy."

"I miss you too, Rey." Rose said with sadness in her voice. "I wish I could be there with you."

Rey sighed and continued. "I want to meet you. In person. Not online all the time. I want to travel. I want to be free."

"I know what you mean." Rose reacted with sympathy. "Hopefully we can meet soon."

"Yeah...if only...and how's Finn?"

"He's alright and he's missing you too. We're practicing, working from home, preparing for the exams." Rose answered a little bit wearily.

"Oh my gosh, don't mention the exams!" Rey groaned. "I'm not ready at all..."

"Hey, you're gonna make it." Rose encouraged her. "I believe in you."

"Thanks Rose, you're the best." Rey said with a faint smile.

"By the way, have you found a job?" Rose asked her, a bit more gleefully.

"I have a part time job at a shop. My boss is great." Rey responded simply and her thoughts wandered to that guy for a moment until Rose reacted. "I'm so glad, Rey." And her friends' expression slowly changed to suspicious, raising a brow funnily. "And...what about guys? Have you met someone?"

"No...not really." Rey felt as her face warmed up and she was sure that she was blushing. The girl hoped that Rose didn't notice, but seeing her own face in the corner of the screen, she realized that she couldn't deny the truth. She was busted.

"Wait...you're blushing like hell...tell me everything!" Rose asked eagerly, waiting for the details.

"It's nothing. Just a weird guy." Rey tried to protest, but Rose's expression made her give up. "Okay, okay. It's a guy, always wearing black, and always staring at me like I am some...painting." She said embarrasedly, when she spotted that Rose was smirking. "Don't smile like that!" Rey snapped, but couldn't stop herself from grinning.

"He must be some Dark Prince. Or an agent from the MIB." Rose teased her, speaking mysteriously, after, she asked interestedly. "And besides he's in black all the time, what does he look like?"

"Tall. Like SO tall." Rey emphasized the first facts then continued. "Muscular. He has shoulder-lenght, dark hair. His eyes are..." She searched for the word and found it. "...plumbless."

"Plumbless...I see..." Rose rubbed her chin acting like knowing something. "And his face?"

"I haven't seen it yet. But I feel like I know him from somewhere. Maybe he feels the same and that's why he's staring."

"Hmm...interesting. He's surely a Dark Prince." Rose acknowledged and added playfully. "Maybe he's gonna steal your heart."

Rey rolled her eyes but smiled. "I gotta go."

"Alright girl, I let you go." Rose winked. "But don't forget to share some news about your prince, from time to time."

"Sure." Rey sighed and added, heartfelt. "I send you a big hug."

"I send a hug back." Rose said. "You can call us anytime. We will, too."

"Okay, tank you Rose, take care!" Rey said goodbye gratefully.

"Stay safe!"

April was almost over, when one day Rey could finally work at the counter for the first time, while Maz arranged the shelves with one of her assistants. The girl was the one now to handle the incoming money responsibly, and she liked this task. She welcomed one customer after another, and went with the flow until the evening came, and the Dark Prince appeared in front of her with a full shopping basket. She froze, so did the man. Only a table separated them, but they were so close like the first time. When she met his gaze, Rey had to admit now that she liked his iris, even his soft, shiny hair.

"Good evening, sir." She managed to compose herself to groan out a polite greeting, but knowing the person, she expected nothing in return. The man was faithful to his habit and didn't say anything, when the girl broke the eye contact nerveously. She went through his products' barcode, and she only heard the rustling of the different packages, furthermore her breathing under the mask.

When the guy prepared his credit card, he looked around, as if checking if anyone was near or waiting on a queue. Rey told him the total, and he used pay-pass, so Rey could see how big his hands were. He looked awkward as he put away the bought stuff, then he spoke. "Thank you."

Rey first believed it was just her imagination, but after the guy hurried out of the store, she knew it wasn't. His voice was deep, warm and calming. Luckily, the mask didn't distort his unique organ that much, and she even could hear the shade of uncertainty in his voice. The girl hadn't expected that this man would make such a deep impact with every occasion. Her annoyance towards him faded away, and she wished now she could've heard his voice more. She wished she could speak with him and get to know him.

After watching the scene from the distance, Maz broke out in a smile behind her mask.


	3. Ben

Rey hadn't been a good sleeper since her childhood, and the exam period, plus the quarantine made it worse. There were days, when the girl didn't want to do anything, and didn't even answer phone calls. She forgot what eating healthy food meant, and didn't like to play her exam pieces on the piano anymore. Bach, Haydn, Chopin or Debussy didn't lift her spirits up. What's more, she hadn't seen her Dark Prince for at least two weeks, and she wondered if he was okay. Rey was worried, for some reason.

She survived her theoretic exams, such as harmony or music history, and before her final exam, the piano one, she collected herself and decided to call Finn, after ages. It turned out to be the best decision. Rey could tell him most of her recent struggles, and the boy could encourage her. She was undescribably grateful for his friend who always called her Peanut.

After the exam it felt like a stone fell from Rey's heart. She succeeded, finished the semester. However, she was alone, furthermore. The girl had planned to discover the neighborhood since she had arrived at the town, so she felt like now she deserved a long, stress-releasing walk. When she was outside, she didn't have to wear facemask, and she was free. Sort of.

It was the middle of May, nice weather, her favourite green cardigan was enough above her t-shirt. She let her hair loosened and didn't pin it up to three buns like always. She reached a park, where a small church, built in neo-gothic style stood graciously. Gentle breeze, chirping birds, flowers and trees in bloom. She sat down on a bench to admire the building and its colorful environment. Parents with children, and some elder couples were stroding around, some of them wearing masks. It reminded her of that man. She wished he would've been there, but it didn't come true. Rey sighed and then continued her lonely promenade. The next day she would go and see an other park -she decided

The next day, it was a bit cooler, while Rey was taking a longer walk. Hair loosened again, no mask. She tried to let her annoying desires go, about the man she actually didn't really know, yet. But she failed. Time was passing slowly, boringly, and Rey just started to ponder over the meaning of life, when she reached a place with beautiful japanese cherry trees in full bloom. And she spotted him. Him. Sitting on a bench, under a sakura tree, wearing his always black attire, reading. It was a small meadow, with sparsely standing pink-flowered trees, and benches. He was alone there, about ten meters away. Rey didn't want to bother him, but almost without thinking, she approached him, with careful steps.

When Rey paused 1 meter before him, the guy noticed, looked up and winced. The surprise in his eyes and posture were undeniable. 

"Hi!" Rey greeted him with a radiant, wide grin, waving her hand.

"Oh, hi!" Sounded his awed respond, and he forced to take his eyes off of the girl.

"Do you mind...if I sit down?" Rey asked, but slapped her own face in her mind. The man answered, glancing up at her, after a few seconds. "No." He drawed to the end of the bench to give her enough space, so she sat down at the other end of the bench, to keep the minimum one meter distance. The guy kept on reading, so Rey could examine his profile, and the scar above his right eye, as a result. He owned a large nose, under his mask, but not too large, Rey noted. She was wondering what would've his lips looked like, but she caught herself thinking about it too much and stopped herself quickly. She broke the silence first.  
"What are you reading?"

"Shakespeare." He replied simply, not looking at her. Rey didn't ask for the details, because it seemed like he didn't want to share. She took her time to recall, which works by the mentioned english author she had read before, when suddenly the prince was the next to pose a question.

"Ehm...when did you move here?" He was braver this time.

"In march, before the restrictions." Rey answered happily. She couldn't believe that she could finally have a real conversation with someone besides Maz. It didn't mean she didn't like to speak with the elder woman, not at all. It was just...something else with this enigmatic guy. "And I love this town." She added. The Prince now leant his elbows upon his knees, holding his closed book with both hands, and looked at her. He was listening Rey attentively.

"And you?" She carried on with the asking.

He let out a heavy breath. "I was born here." He sounded like he wasn't the happiest person to live in his hometown.

"Nice!" Rey smiled onward, trying to cheer him up. "This place is so so beautiful."

"You think so?" He raised a brow and sounded incredulous.

"Yeah, I tell you the truth." Rey reassured him. "I'm Rey, by the way."

"Ben." He introduced himself too, not sharing the family name, just like Rey. The girl's face and eyes lit up. "Ben." She spelled the name, heartfelt. "It's nice to meet you."

"Same here, Rey." He said her name tenderly, and it warmed up the girl's heart.

"Under normal circumstances I would want to shake hands, but it's not allowed, so..." Rey said playfully, and it was like she saw a small smile in Ben's eyes.

"Yeah, me too..." Ben agreed. He looked back at his book and opened it. Rey believed it was time to leave, and stood up fast. Ben snatched up his head in the same tempo, but he didn't stop her.

She waved goodbye, accompanied by a smile. "See you later, Ben."

Ben lifted up his hand to return the gesture. "See you, Rey."

After Rey left, Ben tried to continue reading, but he couldn't concentrate on Shakespeare anymore.


	4. Small Progress

Half-light dwelt in a spacious bedroom, as dark curtains covered the closed, soundproof windows. Ben only heard his breathing when he woke up in his double-bed. He was barely visible under the lighting conditions, as he sat up, and checked the time on his smart phone. 11:17 a.m. Good. And he was still alive. Better. He noted. Or rather, it was his first time after months that he didn't really want to die.

Only one day had passed since he last saw Rey, and that he had a small talk with her. It had been his first normal conversation after an amount of time that felt like ages, and it had given some light to his everyday life. What's more, recalling Rey's face, voice and smile made him grin for a moment.

After rubbing his face, he sighed and got out of bed, to go to the bathroom. When he got back, he took a seat on the edge of the bed.

He finally decided to do some activity, other than just buying and cooking food recently. To go running, perhaps. But in the end he was not ready yet. He could try again the next day, though, but now he only stood up, walked to the windows and pushed away the dark curtains, to let the natural light in.

The next day Rey was at home, practicing the piano, with opened windows. She didn't understand what had happened to her, but she was motivated and inspired to play her instrument with renewed eagerness. She was playing the first movement of Mozart's number 23 piano concerto in A-major. She had played the piece with the orchestra of the Coruscant university about a year ago, and it was one of her most favourite pieces from her most loved composer.

Rey's fingers were running through the difficult, quick passages happily, on the black and white keys, and during playing, she imagined the orchestra's part in her head. It felt like she was on a concert again, and realized how much she missed to perform in front of an audience. She couldn't stop smiling and shivering at the best parts, furthermore, she felt like playing it to a certain person.

Meanwhile, Ben finally gathered his will-power to go running, with his mask on, choosing the neighbourhood. He didn't care if it was harder to breath that way, but he didn't want anyone to see his face. Even he himself couldn't look in the mirror for a long time. However, wearing a scarf would have been an exaggaration, so he didn't put it on. A long line of a scar showed, running through the right side of his muscular bare neck, and disappearing under his white sport shirt.

When Ben was finally jogging, he felt as his muscles and lungs was working. It helped him notice that he was still alive and still in shape. The man went with the flow, and twenty minutes had passed, when a familiar melody hit his ears. He stopped abruptly, because he knew exactly who was playing the piano a few blocks away. Such a lovely, unmistakeable sound he was listening to for a few minutes, that warmed his heart and gave him goosebumps. The music also recalled something else, that made him set off again and run in the opposite direction. Trying to distance himself from the sound and some unwanted memories as fast as possible.

Pale light in the dark room. Before going to bed, Ben's phone was buzzing on his bedside table, and he saw the name "Lando" on the screen. Ben hesitated. When was the last time he had heard Calrissian's voice? He couldn't remember, because most of the time he had ignored Lando's calls. But now he decided to pick it up.

"Hey son, are you alright?" An old, friendly but a bit worrying voice asked him from the other side. Ben needed to collect himself to be able to answer properly.

"I ran today." He said shortly, and heard as Lando sighed in relief. The old man was waiting quietly for more details, but when Ben didn't say more, Lando reacted genuinly. "I'm glad to hear that, Ben." Then risked an other question.  
"Do you talk to Maz...or that boy Armitage?"

"Not really." Ben responded. He was grateful for Lando, for looking after him, though he wasn't able to handle their interactions well. "I go to sleep now." He said finally, because he was so exhausted, and didn't know what else to say.

"Okay okay kiddo." Lando accepted, then said encouragingly. "You know you can call me anytime."

"Yes, I know." Ben confirmed and after a short pause he added warmly.

"Thank you, Wanwo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend you to listen to that beautiful Mozart piece, or at least the first movement Rey just played.


	5. I Met Someone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little change in the tag section.
> 
> Warning: the last 2 paragraphs include a ptsd-anxiety mix. It's my first time writing something like this, so i hope i succeeded.
> 
> Hope you'll like this new chapter. 🌸

"You seem unusually cheerful these days, my dear." Maz noted, when she and Rey arranged the shelves together, squatting next to a row in the shop.

"Really?" Rey froze for a second with one package in her hand. The elder woman chuckled, when she saw the girl's reaction, and then continued her task.

"You can't hide that wide grin in your eyes, Rey." Maz claimed, and Rey observed that the woman's eyes also smiled. "I've lived for too long to notice it." 

The girl composed herself, and put the packed product down the shelf. "Well..." She hesitated then confessed. "...I met someone." Maz stopped rummaging and looked at Rey, with her all-knowing sky-blue eyes. Rey felt as her face became hot.

"It's Ben, isn't it?" Maz posed the unexpected question with some playfullness in her voice. Rey's eyes widened. "Do you know Ben?"

The owner of the shop now gazed in front of herself, like she was in a faraway place in her head. "Since the day he was born." She said warmly, but it felt like the shade of sadness settled on her.

"It's wonderful!" The girl's eyes kindled, and she went on, pondering. "Though, I only managed to speak with him a few minutes, but I feel like I know him from somewhere." Now Maz was the one to be surprised. "He was speaking with you?" She didn't hide her disbelief.

"Why?" Rey raised a brow confusedly.

"Oh...nevermind, dear." Maz said, absent-mindedly continuing the rummaging like nothing had happened. But Rey had never seen Maz behaving this way before, so she had a suspicion that something was wrong.

"Maz...are you alright?" Rey's voice turned a bit serious and worrying. She placed her hand gently on the woman's shoulder, who winced a little, because she was lost in her thoughts again before Rey pulled her back to the present. When Maz glanced back at Rey, the girl saw that her eyes were tearful. Rey couldn't decide if those were tears of sadness or joy. She felt like it was both.

"Oh dear Rey...Ben doesn't talk to me or anyone for a long time." She looked away. "So I'm just... so happy that he finally had a conversation with a kind girl like you."

Rey had a feeling that it was not the whole story. Why hadn't they talked? Something had happened to Ben? -She had many questions, but she conquered over her curiosity for now, and decided to be polite, not forcing the subject.

By the way, some days had passed after talking to the man in the park. Rey missed Ben, and several times she was concerned for him, wondering what had happened to him, constantly trying to push away the worst case scenarios that had appeared in her mind. Where was he now?

Ben was standing still before his opened windows, showing his back. The late-May sunlight and breeze creeped in, so did the sound of chirping birds. The man was scrolling through the phone directory in his cellphone. He had to call someone, but not Lando. Calrissian's words reminded him that he hadn't talked to a certain someone for a long time. When he spotted the name 'Hux', he stopped scrolling with his thumb. Months had passed since the last time Ben initiated a phonecall, and it was a hard decision. But he finally made it.

"Solo! It's you, for real?" A sleepy, uncredulous voice questioned Ben. It was Armitage Hux, Ben's closest friend.

"Yeah...it's me." Ben replied curtly.

"Mate, I'm so glad..." Hux said, relieved. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry for disturbing. You've been asleep?"

"No worries." Armitage assured. "So...you alright?

After a long pause Ben replied. "I met someone. More accurately, I met Rey."

"Rey?"

"We attended her concert, about a year ago." Ben stated, and his friend was thinking a bit.

"Sorry pal, my memory's not as good as yours. And we used to have been on many concerts. I lost the count."

"The one in Coruscant." Ben explained. "Mozart's piano concerto. The girl who played the piano...Rey Smith...she lives here."

"Blimey!" Hux exclaimed. "The one who enchanted you? What a coincidence!"

"I've talked to her...a bit." Ben said.

"And she knows you too?"

"Maybe, I don't know." Ben said uncertainly.

"There's a chance she does. You're quite popular, anyways." Hux said, and went on teasingly.  
"I hope you regret it now, that you didn't have the guts to introduce yourself back then."

Ben's muteness indicated his agreement.

"You should ask her out." Adviced encouragingly Armitage, breaking the silence. "If you don't, it'll be added to your regret list."

Ben broke out in a light, resigned smile.  
"Thanks Hux."

"Anytime." Reassured Armitage. The two comrades had talked easily and freely like always, as if those months hadn't have passed.

After ending the call, Ben's face fell, when he unfortunately confronted his reflection in the glass of the window. The man was disgusted by the sight of the dreadful scar on his face. The mark looked like a drawn line, that started from above his right eyebrow, and after a hiatus the line carried on from under his right cheekbone, and went accross his face, down his neck, disappearing under his black sweater.

Suddenly, pictures and sounds of memories came up lively that overwhelmed him, so he couldn't help but fell to his knees, trembling. The sounds of shattering metal and glass, screams mixing with sirens. The scent and sense of cold rain and warm blood. Objects piercing through different parts of his body...

He desperately tried to hold onto something, anything that could ease the pain, and the feeling of no air. His heart and stomach were klenching at the same time, and he felt a grave pressure in his head too, that made things much worse. Ben wanted to die, rather than feeling this agony. He was helpless, breathing hard for long minutes seemed like days, when he could finally force his racing brain to calm down a bit, somehow. The last thing he saw in his mind was Rey's smile, before his exhausted body collapsed onto the soft, dark rug under him, and he lost his consciousness.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so sorry for any clumsyness or grammatical errors.  
> Moreover, i really appreciate every kind of feedback, and i'm so grateful if you read my story. Let me know what you think. 💗🙏


End file.
